We pretend to be adults

Listen, no one would argue that an MBA program at a top university is a rigorous crucible, testing even the indefatigable. Sometimes you just want to hide in the corner with your wubby, suck your thumb, and rock yourself to sleep. As the program and building structure do not allow enough corner time for everyone, we fall back on immature humor at somewhat inappropriate times. In September, a second year student started a quote blog of all of the amazing and amazingly stupid quotes said. Here are a few gems from this year I thought I'd share.

"It's a dog-eat-dog world, and I'm wearing bacon underwear."

Student: So [for security] the company has a hand reader for their time card punch.
Professor: Jack Bauer would get their hand then.

Professor: So did anyone pick up on what they were doing with Plutonium in the case?
awkward pause and silence (besides the sounds of keyboards typing)
Student: Time travel.

Professor: I want us to better understand the difference between a manager and a leader.
Student: Let's complete the perfect trifecta of the Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and Star Trek. Captain Kirk is a leader, whereas Spock is a manager.

Student: Oh, now I understand!

Professor: Not only do I have ADD, I have a severe lack of integrity.

Student: I feel like when Monty Python starts being quoted, group productivity goes down instantly.
Student: What are you going to do? Bleed on me?

Student A: I hate that stupid quote blog.
Student B: Why?

Student A: I don't get on it enough.

Student: "Butt" is the universal quantifier. If you say "that guy is butt-stupid," he's really stupid.

Professor: You shouldn't open your mind to the extent that your brain falls out.

Professor: There is no correlation between money and happiness.

Nate Smith: Tell that to someone who owns a wave runner. Have you ever seen anyone frowning on a wave runner?

Professor: What makes a good leader?

Jared: Chloe said "pretty."

Chloe: I was being facetious.

Jared: But I think there's something to that. When I think about the good leaders in my life, they have been tall and...

Christian: There's no one hotter than Abraham Lincoln.

Professor: I'd rather be hit by a truck than grade papers. A small truck anyway.

Student: Just because I'm single doesn’t mean I’m retarded. (Only at BYU)

Student: "Yeah, there are a lot of overachievers in the program."
Student: "I can't wait to be done with school and be back in the real world where I can be above average among mediocre people."

Finance Professor: When you are creative with marketing, you win awards. When you are creative in finance, you go to jail.

Professor: Hanging out with accountants – we call that “Slumming” in the business world.

Student: When God created the Earth, he opened Excel.

Student A:  He'd be a great mentor.

Student B:  I thought you already had a mentor - Chuck Norris.
Student A:  Yeah, that's true.  But the thing about Chuck is that his advice is so mind-blowing that I end up in the hospital every time I ask him for guidance. [I love a good Chuck Norris joke :-)]

Professor to student asking about questions on final:
"I could make it easy for you, but I won't.   I only have so long to torture you."

Professor: The faux hawk is the mullet of this generation.